The Golden Reality of ‘I Am’


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0:00 yeah
0:09 yeah
0:10 but we do like to talk about the crucifixion at the end of the room
0:19 there’s a triptych of the crucifixion and it’s a sort of image I’ve been
0:26 familiar with and all my life three and then the story i was just looking around
0:40 ready during meditation and then the effect of that whereas previously I’ve
0:48 tried to extract meaning from it this morning in the atmosphere in this room i
1:00 found that it was seemingly radiating something which affected my heart made
1:13 it it made it lighter
1:16 yes even now when I look at it I feel the site or something that in this
1:21 present happen stick the first time I’ve had that kind of experience since the
1:31 question but when you look at that painting what is it that really shines
1:38 it’s the the figure of Christ and the figure of marion John that sort of
1:51 triangular that triangle the
1:58 old against the other . background she went when I look at it it’s the gold
2:04 that shines I see the figures of as the absence of the gold but what really
2:11 shines is the gold and it’s very interesting that the Gold is everything
2:17 around the body and the head in other words what is being made to shine is the
2:23 space in which the bodies appear they didn’t paint the bodies gold they
2:29 painted everything except the bodies gold in other words when you come into
2:36 the room and see the painting that what is it that shines out it’s the gold the
2:43 bodies are like I can hardly see them that their shadows but the gold seems
2:49 out but that’s what the painter wanted to draw attention to that that’s why in
2:55 medieval paintings that that the Halos they paint a halo around the head in
3:00 gold
3:03 the head is thought mind and what they wanted to draw attention to was the
3:08 space in which the mind appears not the mind itself and here like this morning
3:18 they’re drawing attention not just to the space in which that the mind the
3:22 head appears those are the Halos but the space in which the whole scene appears
3:26 the whole group of bodies that the space is being given prominence it’s saying
3:34 see that the space is shining and the objects are actually the absence of that
3:41 shining
3:47 that’s my interpretation of that painting what it was was not on an
3:57 intellectual experience with an experienced in the heart was that an
4:02 enlivening yes of the heart and that came from the attitude of the figures
4:07 yes particularly the figure of Christ yes okay but you see again i would say
4:24 that this this painting draws attention to what doesn’t die when Christ died
4:37 what didn’t stop shining when Christ body stopped shining so there isn’t
4:51 sorry the spirit and how is the spirit depicted in that picture
4:56 it’s the brilliant gold which even in the face of death it is not dimmed it
5:06 doesn’t go dark the body goes dark the body dies but the spirit shines and in
5:13 fact it is the death of the body and that is what is depicted in this
5:18 painting it is the death of the body that draws attention to the
5:23 deathlessness of the Spirit
5:30 see what what what what died when Christ died i don’t really see that anything
5:39 died it was the initiation of a a new epoch of mankind
5:49 I think that’s it and always here essential message of that new epoch the
5:59 small insofar as i was thinking about it
6:01 compassion that’s always been I’ve never really understood the crucifixion
6:12 I’ve never really understood the mass for example I was a teenage catholic and
6:20 i left it behind you see good christ sake before Abraham was I am what I am
6:40 was present for Abraham was is what I am now what was he referring to and he said
6:55 I am I am now what I was before abraham was born consciousness yet he wasn’t
7:08 referring to I the body that was his essential message
7:13 be still and know that I am is God be still
7:22 that is
7:26 turn away from the agitation of the mind this is nothing to do with the minded
7:33 behind know the stillness that is behind the mind and know that that that I am is
7:48 God or the ultimate reality and that is ever-present he is a concession to 40
8:00 had saved before Abraham was I am so he’s confounding he’s saying before I
8:05 want Abraham was in the past and then he uses the present tense i am he doesn’t
8:11 say before Abraham was I was he says before Abraham was that he takes us into
8:17 the past and then says I am this I am that is now the eternal present is
8:23 eternally present and that is what I eternally and before the arising of all
8:31 bodies and all worlds and the I am that that each of us knows everybody now
8:39 knows the experience i am and that I am is as we said on the first evening it is
8:44 the hole in you and hear the hole in a piece of paper it is it seems to be in
8:51 the paper but when we approach that whole we realize it is just an empty
8:57 space which is not in the paper the paper is in that space so the I am is
9:04 the hole through which the separate self accesses it’s eternity it through which
9:11 the separate self goes out of time into eternity through the portal I am or the
9:18 thought I
9:23 stands for be still and know that I am as God is the ultimate reality within
9:36 the experience of meditation that is is made real
9:42 yes but it only adds to the mystery of the crucifixion yes but that is the
9:49 message of the crucifixion the message of the crucifixion and the resurrection
9:56 and the Transfiguration are these three stages that you find in all the great
10:02 religious tradition the crucifixion the death of everything we thought ourselves
10:07 to be the death of the identification with the body that that’s the UNT
10:15 yesterday but for those less that’s end of page one chapter mine the discovery I
10:20 am awareness
10:22 I am NOT the body then the resurrection is the discovery this is for the rest
10:29 fast arrest of chapter one the discovery the nature of the being that i have
10:35 discovered myself to be so the crucifixion
10:38 I am NOT the body I am consciousness the resurrection that is that the
10:43 resurrection of the true either discovery of the nature of the
10:47 consciousness that i have discovered myself to be and then chapters 2 212 the
10:54 Transfiguration that is the realignment of the colonization of the body the mind
11:02 and the world with the infinite light of pure consciousness that I know myself to
11:06 be the transfiguring of the body-mind the outshining of the body-mind in the
11:12 light of pure awareness for these are the three stages the crucifixion the
11:17 resurrection and the Transfiguration
11:23 there’s an illusion only Brockman is real ramen is the world is ramana
11:29 maharshi’s way of describing the same thing I am something I am nothing i am
11:38 everything Zen the path from I am something to I am nothing that is the
11:45 path from I am the body to I am awareness is what in his entry which
11:49 they called the great death that’s what’s depicted up here the great desk
11:54 but then the path from I am nothing awareness to i am everything that is the
11:59 ad shining of the body-mind world in the light of pure knowing that is called the
12:04 great rebirth in his end tradition that is what this picture is is trying to
12:15 trying to evoke in us i thought that was very interesting but the experience is
12:30 going this morning was more like the kind of visual meditation yes yes and it
12:38 had power
12:39 yeah I can see that previously okay but I don’t want to interpret your your
12:49 meditation because that’s something obviously very very genuine for you a
12:53 very powerful for you
12:55 the the and thatthat’s then I’ve not tried to give you an a rational
13:02 explanation rational analysis of this painting but you got the message at a
13:11 visceral level and bypassed thought and that is the purpose of party doesn’t go
13:19 through thinking it goes by a sensation and perception and so if i don’t want to
13:26 touch your your experience it’s obviously very very genuine what I’m
13:31 saying is not in any way to to deny your experience and just giving
13:36 my interpretation of this is the best thing